I journeyed through the darkness and I’m here to help others heal.
Hey there, my name is Zsófia Vera.
It translates as wisdom (from the greek, sophia) and truth or faith (vera, from latin). Both my Sun and Rising signs are in Leo, which might explain the extensive array of images of me in this article, as well as the giddiness I harbour in holding such a potent mix of names. My moon sign is in Virgo however, and that meticulous earthy quality comes to ground and temper the fire a bit, thank goodness. …
Language sits on a pedestal. I am its humble servant.
I’ve been thinking in it for as long as I can remember.
English skips through my brain like a lithe fawn across a desolate field in autumn. It threads the loveliest words that flow into elaborate sentences and, through it all, language guides me to new places of understanding.
Being conscious in English is, for me, at once a highly adorned performance and a secret backstage romance. It’s grandiose as well as mystical. Outward oriented and inwardly focussed.
English has made my inner voice an eloquent companion that never fails…
My personal resonance with Pink Floyd’s under-appreciated masterpiece
Like Bruce Springsteen, I discovered Pink Floyd through my dad.
Early on, I had what The Boss would call a baptism of rock and roll. It happened when I was about 8, around the time Pink Floyd’s Pulse album came out. The live version of High Hopes burst on the hi-fi system and I wore shawls on my head to pretend I had long hair that I could bob to the rhythm of the ominous tolling bells.
I woke up one morning in early February and deleted social media apps off my phone.
I later returned, to actually deactivate my profiles. Not delete, mind you, deactivate. Simply switch off and disconnect for a while. I thought it would be a temporary pause and that I’d return soon.
It’s been almost six months and I still don’t feel inclined to do so. The damage that a daily use of these platforms does to my mental health takes precedence over any scattered positive value that I might get out of them.
As I look back on these past few…
Celebrating the diversity of creative voices
This year, the Cannes Film Festival held its 74th edition in early July rather than the customary mild month of May—when the Côte d’Azur is usually fizzing with the alluring promise of spring, and an array of fabulous film stars come and grace the Croisette with their newest projects.
Spike Lee, after fourteen months’ wait, headed the presidency of this year’s edition, alongside a jury composed of brilliant creative folk like actors Maggie Gyllenhaal and Tahar Rahim.
And frankly … I didn’t watch any of it.
None of the press conferences, or the photocalls…
What helps—and what to look out for.
I developed anorexia and bulimia in my early teens. The ailments carried me until I was 19, when I finally agreed to get help. I’d gone down to a meagre 33 kgs (73 pounds) for my tall frame of 175cm (5ft7in).
On that morning, I had been unable to physically lift myself out of bed. I had become that physically weak. For the first time in a decade of self-annihilation, I felt scared for my life. I wanted to survive. …
On a day without coffee, my body begins menstruating.
Just as I wake to acknowledge the signs of it arriving, the pain has already overtaken my abdomen and is holding it hostage with groaning spasms imploding in saccades. In that moment I know, without fault, that it is time to cancel everything.
But I’m already on my way to the grocery store, yet to fully grasp that I’ll soon be contorted in pain on my sofa. I mingle idly at the store, looking for things to tick off my list. …
Stillness and Silence in “Sound of Metal”
You fall to the ground, stunned by the blow.
There, you may face the choice between carving out a space in the hollow, or clawing your way back up to the surface. Fall silent, or contest the injustice. The latter option often breeds a potent display of furious rage at the circumstances that you find yourself in.
Rage is a beautiful sensation. It is discordantly symphonious, a hermetic code that seems to carry you forward. Rage is like a powerful liquid that strengthens your resolve. It is an emboldening anaesthesia.
I’m often in awe of how fast the experience of listening to music has evolved in my lifetime.
What began as linear listening on cassette tapes in childhood, moved to CDs in adolescence, then MP3s in early youth. The shuffle mode on the iPod evolved into the Genius button on the same vehicle, which led, quite possibly, to the Spotify radio option that branches out a song into a full playlist, extending the limbs of the original song into an embrace.
I spent my early youth visiting the local media store to sample new releases for free before I considered…
My body surges into consciousness like an animal demanding to be fed. Regardless of length of sleep, there’s a drive to jump into the day and to get going.
The church bells next to my bedroom ring at 7am. By that time, I am at least half awake and standing tall, my life force and blood streams expanding and flowing to the extremities of my limbs. I am a morning person.
I’m grateful for the calling to tumble awake that seems to occur so naturally as a biological craving to exist, but before that, there often is a stunned awakening…
Writer, Designer. I bleed creativity. I soak up feeling and try to transmit it. Cinephile. Deeply invested in healing myself and helping others heal.